


clueless tears fall

by sevenlevels



Series: wounds and guilt that become tangled again [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Non AU, very much inspired by i don't know lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24989245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevenlevels/pseuds/sevenlevels
Summary: Jeonghan's heart is crying just like the sky.ora bad decision, two boys and a swing in the middle of a park while it rains.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan
Series: wounds and guilt that become tangled again [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1808959
Kudos: 11





	clueless tears fall

**Author's Note:**

> i'm really sorry that my first work in 3 years is an angst jeongcheol setting.  
> english is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for any mistake.

The only noises in the room were his sobs, the clock sharp tic tac and the storm outside.

Looking himself at the dance practice room, Jeonghan saw how badly he was taking the break up.

“It’s for the best. We can ruin the group’s dynamic if we keep going.” When Seungcheol told him that, his world came crashing down, if you asked Jeonghan if he ever thought that things would end not because they didn’t love each other, but because they loved each other too much his response would be a laugh.

He couldn’t bring himself to stop crying. His tears were falling so fast and his face was so red, his heart was beating so fast and he knew that once he was out from that space that meant so much for him and for Seunghceol he would have to wear the facade of someone that wasn’t in pieces because he fell in love with the only person in the world that he wasn’t supposed to.

I guess it’s true that we always want things that we can’t have.

x

It was a friday night, it was raining so much that Seungcheol couldn’t see a thing, he just sat at the park, feeling the water on his shoulders, feeling his cry being muffled by the rain, feeling his heart shattering in a way that he wasn’t used to.

Breaking up with Jeonghan was the hardest thing he ever did, and considering the fact that he was a leader for a group of 13 boys, he did a lot of hard things. He came up with the worst thing that he could think of, he simply told Jeonghan that they were too much in love and that they were being careless and that if someone picked up on what was happening, Seventeen would be fucked.

He hated himself because this was all his fault, his horny young self self couldn’t stop a fucking second to lock the dance practice door, but it was 3am, how could he imagine that one of their managers would see the way Jeonghan and him were making out like crazy and a few minutes from fucking each other’s brain out.

_“Seungcheol, you’re the leader. The example. We can’t afford this group going down because you can’t control your dick. You need to finish this and soon, I will not talk to Jeonghan, but you need to end this in a way that he won’t know that I saw you two, he will not tolerate being controlled and you know that. The comeback is around the corner. Don’t fuck this up.”_

He could still hear those words echoing in his head. He couldn’t stop thinking about Jeonghan’s orbits when he said those harsh words in a cold tone earlier that week. Jeonghan liked to make everyone think of him as a cold bitch who can handle anything, but he knew that it wasn’t true. His baby was the most precious thing in the world and he would do anything for him, that’s why he ended things.

x

Jeonghan walked through the rain for two blocks going straight to the park near their dorm. That place holds so much of his love for Seungcheol.

It was the first place where they kissed.

It was the first place where they said “I love you.”

It was their refugee for when the other boys were being loud and obnoxious and they just wanted to be a couple.

The park was full of trees and they were all so thicc that when he and Seungcheol were kissing like teenagers during the dawn of the night no one would see them.

From across the street he could see that the place was completely deserted. So he took a walk even with all that water coming from the sky.

He wanted to feel one more time before he could start to feel nothing.

As if Seungcheol could sense him, he saw a person coming in his direction tucked in a sweatshirt, it couldn’t be. He asked Soonyoung where he was before leaving their house and he said that Jeonghan was at the company and told them to not wait for him.

Jeonghan froze.

Seungcheol was sitting at the swing looking directly at him.

The universe was really testing him.

He was already getting ready to turn around when he felt a hand on his arm.

_“Hannie, please wait.”_

“You don’t get to call me that anymore.”

“Fair. I’m sorry. Jeonghan, it is for the best…” he started, but Jeonghan’s eyes were like pure anger and the younger stopped him from talking with his hand.

“Don’t say that again! I can’t hear this again. I can’t believe you’re breaking up with me again and we didn’t even get back together. You’re trying to convince yourself that this is for the best. How can you do this to me? I gave everything to you. You know what’s funny about this? Shua always told me that I was going to break your heart but it was all the other way around. We could fight this, you know? We already debuted, we already have almost two years together, we could take this to Mr. Seong, we could be adults about it, Seungcheol, because breaking news to you, we aren’t teenagers anymore but at the first problem, you just gave up. I’m not staying with someone that isn’t going to fight for me. I know you love me, I’m not doubting this, but this time, I’m breaking up with you. I’ve been through hell for the past two months and you’ve been avoiding me in any chance you can, you made me believe that was my fault, that I was too much and in the end it was just because someone caught us together.” His face was red from all the crying and he was shaking, he didn’t know if it was because it was raining or because he just poured everything out in one go.

“How did you know?” Seungcheol asked, feeling numb.

“For fucks sake, Choi Seungcheol, I know you for more than five years and I’ve been in love with you for pretty much the same time, and I think you know very damn well that Jihoon wasn’t going to keep quiet after you told him. The only thing you had to do was trust me and you didn't.”

So much went between them at that very moment.

Every kiss.

Every moment.

Every feeling.

They loved each other so much and yet it wasn't enough.

“I fucked up, didn’t I?” Seungheol said, sitting again at the swing and feeling his clothes attached to him because of the rain. “I didn’t trust you. I thought that I could handle this alone.”

“Yes, you did. Breaking up with me, not speaking with me for months, not even looking at me.” Jeonghan tried to take the tears aways but the rain wasn’t helping. “I am moving out of our room, you’re going to share with Soonyoung from now on, I’ll be staying with Jisoo and Jihoon.”

“You are already for the past weeks…”

“Yes, because my selfless ass thought that you would come to your senses soon, but it only got worse, so I can’t deal anymore and I’m convinced now.” Jeonghan was hurt. He was so hurt.

Fight for me, Seungcheol. Fight for me.... His mind was screaming to the boy in front of him.

“If it's what you want, fine. I’m sorry, Jeonghan, for everything. I never deserved you, anyway.” Seungcheol said, the sad tone matching his tears.

Jeonghan should see that coming, his ex-boyfriend always put him first, why wouldn’t he now, right?

“You’re a coward and I want us to be only work related from now, it’s not really easy to move on from you if I will live with you, eat with you…”

Jeonghan didn’t really wait for a reply. He looked one more time at Seungcheol before making his way back home.

Before shutting his eyes to let his body rest, Jeonghan heard Seungcheol entering the room and pretended to be sleeping.

Jeonghan was a good actor. He could fake it.

It's time to open the curtains, he is going to give it a show even if it means crushing his heart in the meantime.

**Author's Note:**

> i could go on for days writing about them but for now this is it.  
> this is probably going to be a series about how I see jeongcheol from a perspective very new since I've been a carat for a few months. 
> 
> please, be patient with me!  
> see you soon.


End file.
